My Lead Light

 My Lead Light

       Chicago is a multicultural city, and it can give many opportunities to many people. I was nervous when I came to Chicago two years ago because I needed to communicate with local people who only spoke English, but I quickly lost my confidence. When anyone talked to me, my brain went blank. It was like the light was broken at night, so I could not find my way or say anything. I was nervous and unassisted at that time. Now, I have been in Chicago for two years, and I have started to adapt to this culture. I am starting to feel better than before, but I still need to make some changes.

       Since I moved to Chicago, it has given me more time to change myself and strengthen my life. The education in China is different from Chicago. When I went to high school in China, I only had half of Saturday and the whole of Sunday to rest because schools in China are focused on education. They always wanted students to use all their free time to study. I did not have time to do other things, so I never worked in China. All my expenses were paid by my parents. In contrast, I only went to school in the morning in Chicago last year, so I had enough time to do what I wanted to do. I had a part-time job in my aunt’s friend’s restaurant. I worked there for more than one year. This was a good chance for me to start becoming independent and better fit into Chicago. I earned money to travel and for my tuition. Unluckily, I lost my job this year because the boss had health problems, so he could not run it and sold the restaurant.  I was very thankful to him because I learned more about fitting in the new surroundings and learned some other helpful things. After two years, I did not feel dependent anymore, and I dared to find a new job. In addition, I have gained a new hobby, which is running. Now I like to run after school.  I often saw many people run in the afternoon last year when I went outside. In China, I could not feel this kind of running atmosphere because running is not a common sport there. However, A large national marathon is held in Chicago every year, and I started watching it one year ago. It made me excited. I also want to try half of a marathon this year. Because of these aspects, I have changed myself.

       However, despite these positive things affecting me, I cannot accept the danger in Chicago, and I lost my feeling of safety. People are not allowed to have guns in China, so there is not a lot of random crime. A month ago, I saw on the news that two teenagers were killed in the southwest of downtown Chicago when they went back home in the afternoon. I was surprised by it. I often thought about why people use guns in a dangerous way. The gun issue makes me worried about safety every day. The other thing is that stealing goods is a regular occurrence in some places. I went for a walk with my friends along the lake once or twice a week last year. Perhaps 63^rd Street Beach is a bit remote, but we saw the windows in each car in the parking lot were broken, and it was messy in the cars. That scared us, so we did not want to stay there at that time.  As a consequence of these things, I think I need to adapt to these surroundings and do something to improve my feeling of safety.

                                       

       I have changed many things since I came to Chicago. I have become independent, and my life has become more fulfilling. However, I want to look for my feeling of safety. From now on, I want to turn the light back on again and lead me, so I can find my way. I need to put the burden away and enjoy the culture in Chicago. In the future, I will learn how to protect myself and find a feeling of safety.