Essay 2 - Single Child Era

    The one-child policy was a family planning policy promoted by the Chinese government from 1979 to 2015. In 1979, the government realized the urban population was growing and lacked resources, so they initiated this law to control the overpopulation. This policy said that each family could only have one child. If the family wanted a second child, it required approval from the government. When a family violated the rule by having a second child without permission, it was necessary to pay a costly fine. Usually, women were given IUDs to prevent pregnancy after giving birth. However, there were some exceptions that included families that lived in the countryside and had rural household registration and non-public servants. They could have the opportunity to have one more child. This policy also symbolized that the fate of millions of people was about to change in many ways. I was born in 2001, so I felt the impact of the policy during my childhood, and I am a single daughter.

    Selfishness was one of the biggest prejudices against only children. Many people think children who grow up in a one-child family must be very selfish because they are not used to sharing things with others. However, I think that sharing is a thing that comes from education, values, and family environment. I grew up judged to be selfish. When I was four years old, my cousin always criticized me for not sharing things with others. At that time, I hated haircuts, so my aunt would buy me an ice cream after every haircut appointment as a bravery medal. Things seemed to occur very strangely in those years. I never got the chance to eat my haircut reward because I always got sick, and my cousins always ate my ice cream causing me to cry bitterly. I always thought that I was a selfish person until my parents told me that I was not selfish to myself. Every child has a time when they cry or pray to their parents to buy them toys or snacks, but I did not have those issues. My mother told me that I always asked them to buy me something, and if they said no, I would not get on the floor or start throwing a tantrum. Maybe because I explicitly knew that the economic condition of my family was not good. Although I have become more selfish as I grow up, I have double standards about that because sometimes I do not like to share my favorite things with people who I do not like.

    In addition, since I was a single daughter, I frequently felt lonely and had difficulty in making decisions. When I was in primary school, half of my classmates had siblings. I always felt envious because they always had someone to go home with. I remember at that time, students had to be picked up by their parents before they could leave school. My mother was the one who went to school to pick me up after class. One day, my mother was very busy and could not come to pick me up. Without any siblings, I had to stay at school with the janitor until the evening. That day was also the day when I begged my mother to give me a brother or sister because if my siblings were in the same school as me, I would not need my parents to pick me up. I wanted to have a sibling not only because I felt lonely but also because I would like to talk about it with someone besides my parents when I have difficulty of making decisions. Sometimes there were some secrets and situations that I could not share with my parents, so having a sibling could have helped me.

    Finally, as the only child, I need to care for my parent's burden. As I grew older, I thought a lot about my future and my parents' future. A few months ago, my mother retired in China but not in the U.S., so I started thinking about when both of my parents will retire and no longer be able to work. Parental pension issues may be a big burden because I do not have siblings to divide the responsibility of care of my parents. I must work by myself but spend it with three people. Just thinking about it gives me a headache. Even though it is too early to think about and I know that the government would give pensions, it is not enough. Being an only child is quite stressful. The cycle of work, family, and personal life while taking care of my parents will be stressful. This can lead me to feel physically and mentally exhausted and struggle to cope with the challenges of daily life. It’s not that I am ungrateful or do not want to be dutiful to my parents, but I feel like it might be less pressure if I had siblings.

    The one-child policy was like a complex experiment. Many people think that a child who grow up in a single-child family has advantages because they can have more love, concern, and self-development. On the other hand, there are some inevitable consequences. For instance, these people may feel lonely and under pressure because of the pension problems. However, I think the one-child policy has now changed. In the past, people wanted to have children, but the government did not allow them, while now people don't want to have children, but the government promotes a second or even third child. These ideas are contradictory to each other. In the long term, this could be a vast consequence to the society. Moreover, it is a challenge for the future of the nation that has to be overcome because even though the economy in China looks good, not everybody is able to buy a house or car. This causes the young generation to prefer not to get married or have a child. Thus, I sometimes think one-child policy had its advantages and disadvantages.